FAQ

1. Do people really ask you these questions?

Mostly, no. They're movie quotes and such. Feel free not to be amused.

2. So how do you know so much about American history?

I pieced it together mostly from sugar packets.

3. Do you know what "nada" means?

Isn't that a light chicken gravy?

4. What do you know about Ray Finkle?

Soccer style kicker graduated from Cauler high June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA division 1 records one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," The first and only pro athlete to come out of Cauler County and one heck of a model American.

5. Where does it say you have to be gracious in defeat?

It's on the back of my vest.

6. You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?

Is this a -- what day is this?

7. Lance Good? What kind of a name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something.

What makes you think I'm not?

8. What's this "goodle" thing all about?

That's what you get if you take my first two initials, "L" and "E", and stick them on the end of my last name, "good." Amazingly clever, huh. Not to be confused with the korean heater company, of course.